and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
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