why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
Randomize
