wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
Randomize
