Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Randomize
