is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize
