Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Randomize
