I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
