he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
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