This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Randomize
