idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
tell your sister to shave her snatch
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
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