There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
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