All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Randomize
