i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
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