i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Randomize
