Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
Randomize
