We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
It's never too late to be topless.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
