I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
tequila makes me forget i have legs
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
Randomize
