For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
We named our party play list daddy issues
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
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