I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
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