Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
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