FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
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