saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
time to smoke my breakfast
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Randomize
