So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
Randomize
