he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
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