Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
Randomize
