She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
