Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
Randomize
