Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize
