you mean i was at the winter classic?
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
Randomize
