I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
Randomize
