im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
