i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
Randomize
