u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
Randomize
