I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
