my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
Randomize
