He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
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