ya dads aren't the best wingmen
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
