Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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