Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
Randomize
