McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
