i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
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