Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
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