i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
high people should be assigned attendants
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
