Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
Randomize
