Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
Randomize
