I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
My dad just drunkly made a toast in front of my entire extended family "to my daughter the recent and sucessful college and to my son the drunken whore-monger"
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
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