I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize
