So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
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