you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
Randomize
