I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
