North Korea, Best Korea!
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
I look excited, but its just a facade.
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
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