I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize
