Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
Randomize
