you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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